


Choices

by JayKay (McKay)



Series: Knight Moves [11]
Category: Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-20
Updated: 2017-05-20
Packaged: 2018-11-03 01:14:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10956621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/McKay/pseuds/JayKay
Summary: Maul mulls over some possible new paths for his life.





	Choices

**Author's Note:**

> Written in 2000-2001, thereabouts.

"Back again, are you?"

I turn my head and nod once to Master D'halia. She watches me with a smile. She probably thinks she knows what I am doing here. As I am not certain myself, that would be unusually perceptive of her.

I look out across the practice arena again. I had not been to the arena on a choosing day before. Now it seems I cannot stay away. I find myself joining the other Knights and Masters who come to assess the candidates. Unlike them, however, I have not chosen anyone. I simply watch.

"I'm not the only one who's noticed," D'halia adds softly, and once again she has my attention. She inclines her head toward a young man who is sparring nearby. "Aren hopes you'll choose him. You know that, don't you?"

I glance at Aren, surprised by this information. I have known Aren a while now. He was one of my first students. He was awkward at first. I worked with him after class and taught him how to compensate for the ungainliness that he will eventually grow out of. I am aware that he seems fond of me. I did not know that he wishes to be my apprentice.

For a moment, I am tempted to call him over. I like the boy. He would be a good Padawan. He learns quickly, and he is loyal and obedient. But something stills my tongue.

It is not reluctance to accept a Padawan that keeps me from calling to him. I have not spoken to Obi about this idea, but it is not a new one. I know that the Healers will declare Obi fit for active duty soon. When that happens, he will approach the Council about taking missions once again. I will be on my own.

This does not upset me. I am not ready to leave the Temple now anyway. Sidious is still out there. I am not prepared to face him again. Not so soon. Yet every step away from the safety of the Temple has the potential to lead me to him. I am not ready.

I do not know what I *am* ready to do.

I could resume teaching. That does not feel as satisfactory as once it did. I do not wish to resume active duty. And so I haunt the practice arena, seeking answers even though I am yet uncertain of the questions.

"How does one know?" I ask her.

"How do you know when you're ready to take a Padawan, or how do you know who is the right one to choose?"

"Both."

"As in all things, let the Force guide you." Her pleasant expression turns somber. "I've seen Jedi choose an apprentice for the wrong reasons, and it can have... unfortunate results. The master needs to be certain he or she is ready for the responsibility and that a choice isn't made in haste. Fifteen years is a long time to spend with someone you're not compatible with."

I nod again. So far, the Force has been silent. Aren may wish to be my apprentice, but I am not the master he is destined for. My presence here is doubtless raising his hopes unnecessarily. I will not return. At least not until I learn that he has been chosen. He will be. I am simply not the one who will make the choice.

And so I am still adrift. I will continue to meditate. To seek my path. Perhaps it will not elude me much longer.

 

-end-


End file.
